Thursday, November 3, 2011

Mommy Confessions: I Hope I'm Not the Only One

We have a playdate with friends. I look at the clock. It's 12:30. Naptime is at about 1:00. Sure, I can make it home in time. Pack up the car, buckle us in, get on the road to start our 20 minute drive, it's 12:40. Check the rearview mirror and I see drowsy eyes. So, I turn up the Music Together cd and start singing aloud, loudly. His eyes open up a little. It's 12:45. The speedometer says 70. His eyes are drowsy and his head starts to tilt. My hands at twelve and two are gripping the steering wheel rather tightly. I feel my heart rate increase. Check the rearview, eyes are closed. Turn up the music a little louder, say his name, sing along. No response. He's out. It's 12:50 and we are two miles from home. I loosen my grip on the steering wheel and sigh a little. It's done. He's asleep.

Why do I give myself a panic attack every time it's approaching nap time and he falls asleep in the car? Because nap time is a special time. It's my time to have a moment alone in quiet, to take a shower, to get some work done around the house. It's special and anything that threatens the existence or length of nap time makes me anxious. I know it's a little crazy, because he will generally fall asleep when I move him from the car into his crib, but even the thought of no nap is scary. Mommy needs her break time.

We get home, I unbuckle the car seat, and the eyes open. I carry him inside with his head resting on my shoulder. Place him gently in his crib, turn out the lights, close the door, and tiptoe away. Plonk! I hear the sound of blanket, pillow, pacifier, and stuffed animal being tossed out of the crib. This is immediately followed by crying. Though I AM crying on the inside, the audible ones are coming from the baby's room. Looks like Mommy's Special Time is going to be delayed a bit today.

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